1) Samil just walked into my room with the, and I quote, craziest thing ever. What is that craziest thing? His keys fell into the lining of his jacket. BUT HE COULDN'T FIND THE HOLE IN HIS POCKET. Eventually he did. Post finding hole in pocket, it is still the craziest thing ever.
2) Samil told me it was okay for MLK to cheat on his wife. Just thought you should know. Guys have needs, after all.
3) We've had an on and off battle with heating the house since early October. Its not that big of a deal, but I don't want to spend money burning gas when I can just put on a sweatshirt. I know - I'm crazy. Samil had been complaining a lot about how cold he was at night and kept turning the heat up because he was freezing. At first, I mentioned to him that maybe the heat wasn't on in his room, because I woke up every morning extremely toasty. About three weeks ago he even moved his bedding (he doesn't own a bed) into the office to stay warm. A week later he called our landlord demanding she put up storm windows. She politely told him that these windows didn't need storm windows since they were brand new, but that it didn't make sense he was cold. So she came over, and told him the heating vents in his room were closed. She opened them. For the last two weeks he has still been sleeping in the office despite this.
4) I know #3 was longer than all the others, making the list very unbalanced. Shush.
5) With any luck, I'll be able to tell you about Samil's upcoming date with someone he met on OK Cupid soon!
6) I need to get more guest parking passes because we want to have parties at our house. Except... you only need a parking pass M-F from 8-5. Samil is aware of this. Suddenly, I think we have different definitions of what a party is.
Tuesday, December 8, 2009
Sunday, December 6, 2009
Go Big Red
Last weekend I was hanging out with one of my friends, K, where a classic Samil situation ensued...
She and I went out to dinner and on the way into the restaurant he gave me a call, and I had no idea why he called after the 4:07 conversation. No clue. He asked me a couple of questions about where I was, what I was up to, and when I'd be home. These questions should not require 4 minutes and 7 seconds to ask, but somehow he stretched it out (the trait of a great teacher).
Then we stopped at the new apartment because its awesome and great. I walk into the kitchen, where Samil was cooking, to introduce K and Samil. Samil was wearing an undershirt and boxers.
Of course, this would be somewhat excusable if he didn't know when I'd be home or what I was up to, but as I mentioned, he gathered this information from me in a four minute and seven second time span not more than two hours earlier. He proceed to put pants on in the most direct fashion he knows how, which is wandering around the apartment looking for where he left them when he took them off.
So we sit down and chat while Samil eats dinner. Samil learned that K went to Ithaca college. K learned that Samil doesn't know that Cornell and Ithaca are two different schools. I counted after the second time he brought up Cornell, and the grand total was 6 references to Cornell, 3 of them after K corrected him about the differences between the two schools.
As K was leaving, somehow we got on the topic of Twilight. I mentioned that this video was pretty much the extent of my knowledge of Twilight's plot, but that the video really did show how creepily predatory Edward was, and how its not totally cool that preteen girls were internalizing their understanding of gender roles from these books/movies. In other words, middle school girls shouldn't think its appropriate for guys to say they want to kidnap them and violently attack them.
Samil disagreed. Apparently people don't get any cues from the books they read. This, I tell you, is a great argument to make if you're an English teacher. K and I respectfully disagreed with Samil, and K walked down the stairs to avoid anymore Twilight conversation, which I couldn't blame her for.
The Cornell comments really, are pretty insignificant mistakes, and when all is said and done, the Twilight conversation is mot terribly important. What I think K really took from the conversation was that Samil asks some really odd questions to people. Like when he addressed the following question in the direction of K:
"Do you know if guys go to strip clubs for bachelor parties anymore?"
This came after I told them about getting stuck driving home from work by a truck blocking the road holding a brand new awning for a strip club (which was a really bizarre situation, I thought). Unfortunately for Samil, K did not know the answer.
She and I went out to dinner and on the way into the restaurant he gave me a call, and I had no idea why he called after the 4:07 conversation. No clue. He asked me a couple of questions about where I was, what I was up to, and when I'd be home. These questions should not require 4 minutes and 7 seconds to ask, but somehow he stretched it out (the trait of a great teacher).
Then we stopped at the new apartment because its awesome and great. I walk into the kitchen, where Samil was cooking, to introduce K and Samil. Samil was wearing an undershirt and boxers.
Of course, this would be somewhat excusable if he didn't know when I'd be home or what I was up to, but as I mentioned, he gathered this information from me in a four minute and seven second time span not more than two hours earlier. He proceed to put pants on in the most direct fashion he knows how, which is wandering around the apartment looking for where he left them when he took them off.
So we sit down and chat while Samil eats dinner. Samil learned that K went to Ithaca college. K learned that Samil doesn't know that Cornell and Ithaca are two different schools. I counted after the second time he brought up Cornell, and the grand total was 6 references to Cornell, 3 of them after K corrected him about the differences between the two schools.
As K was leaving, somehow we got on the topic of Twilight. I mentioned that this video was pretty much the extent of my knowledge of Twilight's plot, but that the video really did show how creepily predatory Edward was, and how its not totally cool that preteen girls were internalizing their understanding of gender roles from these books/movies. In other words, middle school girls shouldn't think its appropriate for guys to say they want to kidnap them and violently attack them.
Samil disagreed. Apparently people don't get any cues from the books they read. This, I tell you, is a great argument to make if you're an English teacher. K and I respectfully disagreed with Samil, and K walked down the stairs to avoid anymore Twilight conversation, which I couldn't blame her for.
The Cornell comments really, are pretty insignificant mistakes, and when all is said and done, the Twilight conversation is mot terribly important. What I think K really took from the conversation was that Samil asks some really odd questions to people. Like when he addressed the following question in the direction of K:
"Do you know if guys go to strip clubs for bachelor parties anymore?"
This came after I told them about getting stuck driving home from work by a truck blocking the road holding a brand new awning for a strip club (which was a really bizarre situation, I thought). Unfortunately for Samil, K did not know the answer.
Friday, December 4, 2009
I'm not a doctor, but...
If I had hives all over my body, I think I would wait less than a month to check with the doctor.
Also, I don't need to see them to believe they exist. Just sayin'
I got home today after a long day... week... of work to get a long continuous ramble from Samil while I was unpacking my bags and changing my clothes. I'll summarize:
Samil went to the doctor today, where they discussed medical options to curb his anxiety. They also almost got Samil a referral to see a dermatologist about the hives he's had all over his body since the beginning of October and medicine to cover his digestion problems (see: Hemp Protein). The hives are in fact, real, I think. He showed them to me while he was in the unlit hallway, so I couldn't really see anything. No, I have not been getting hives, so its probably not the apartment. 30 Rock is a great television show. Also, he's really concerned about mixing anxiety drugs with his self medicating option of marijuana, so he's not going to take anything until he runs it by his therapist, who he says would have experience with that situation (I think he meant knowledge of drug interaction, but I'm not sure.) . Also, if he does get drugs for his anxiety, he intends to take it between his classes at work.
That's about it, which, I have to say was no where near amusing as this morning when he knocked on my door really subtley and slowly walked in asking if I had a minute.
He was worried that the water he put in his water bottle might not be safe to drink. He heard someone talk about water contamination recently and was concerned that the faucet water from the morning before might be dangerous. The water had been sitting in there all day, you know, and maybe it would kill him if he drank it. I guaranteed him that it would not kill him, which, not being a doctor, I probably should not have, but I did anyway. Maybe he's just paranoid, but he definitely didn't think that if he just emptied out the bottle and refilled it, he would have saved himself a solid minute of time, and I would have saved a few brain cells.
Also, I don't need to see them to believe they exist. Just sayin'
I got home today after a long day... week... of work to get a long continuous ramble from Samil while I was unpacking my bags and changing my clothes. I'll summarize:
Samil went to the doctor today, where they discussed medical options to curb his anxiety. They also almost got Samil a referral to see a dermatologist about the hives he's had all over his body since the beginning of October and medicine to cover his digestion problems (see: Hemp Protein). The hives are in fact, real, I think. He showed them to me while he was in the unlit hallway, so I couldn't really see anything. No, I have not been getting hives, so its probably not the apartment. 30 Rock is a great television show. Also, he's really concerned about mixing anxiety drugs with his self medicating option of marijuana, so he's not going to take anything until he runs it by his therapist, who he says would have experience with that situation (I think he meant knowledge of drug interaction, but I'm not sure.) . Also, if he does get drugs for his anxiety, he intends to take it between his classes at work.
That's about it, which, I have to say was no where near amusing as this morning when he knocked on my door really subtley and slowly walked in asking if I had a minute.
He was worried that the water he put in his water bottle might not be safe to drink. He heard someone talk about water contamination recently and was concerned that the faucet water from the morning before might be dangerous. The water had been sitting in there all day, you know, and maybe it would kill him if he drank it. I guaranteed him that it would not kill him, which, not being a doctor, I probably should not have, but I did anyway. Maybe he's just paranoid, but he definitely didn't think that if he just emptied out the bottle and refilled it, he would have saved himself a solid minute of time, and I would have saved a few brain cells.
Thursday, November 26, 2009
UPDATE: Social Skills
I came home tonight, and golly gee, Samil was still home. But it appeared like he was about to leave, since his stuff was thrown all over the living room. As you know, the first step in packing for Thanksgiving is tossing all of your stuff around the living room.
Also, he was walking around the house yelling "What the fuck, man! Aaaarrgh! How does this happen?!"
"Hi Samil."
"I lost my phone - twice in two days." (I knew that, since I had to call his phone a few times yesterday).
"That sucks."
"This time its for real. I've been looking for it for two hours. Wait... one hour. I took a nap and woke up and I couldn't find it. Its going to straight to voice mail. How does this happen to me?"
I did not offer my best guess on why these things happen to him. Instead, we talked about his predicament. You see, he needs his phone on Monday to meet with an English Professor. (FYI, its still Wednesday). So what to do? Well, he could a) Beg someone to give them a phone and try to find a Verizon store open on Thanksgiving to activate it, b) Look for the phone some more or c) just fall asleep mid conversation.
(Yeah.... it was c)
Also, he was walking around the house yelling "What the fuck, man! Aaaarrgh! How does this happen?!"
"Hi Samil."
"I lost my phone - twice in two days." (I knew that, since I had to call his phone a few times yesterday).
"That sucks."
"This time its for real. I've been looking for it for two hours. Wait... one hour. I took a nap and woke up and I couldn't find it. Its going to straight to voice mail. How does this happen to me?"
I did not offer my best guess on why these things happen to him. Instead, we talked about his predicament. You see, he needs his phone on Monday to meet with an English Professor. (FYI, its still Wednesday). So what to do? Well, he could a) Beg someone to give them a phone and try to find a Verizon store open on Thanksgiving to activate it, b) Look for the phone some more or c) just fall asleep mid conversation.
(Yeah.... it was c)
Wednesday, November 25, 2009
Social Skills
It's been quiet lately. I think for the most part I've become desensitized to Samil's idiosyncrasies. We've also been not around at the same times a lot, so its a smaller sample size per day of things that would be mentionable here. That said...
This morning I didn't see Samil until right before I was out the door. The following exchange took place:
Me: "Hey, are you going to be home tonight?"
Samil: "Um, yeah, I'm going to my aunt's for Thanksgiving."
Me: "All right, I'll see you late when I get in... 10ish"
Samil: "No."
Me: "Huh?"
Samil: "I'll be at my aunt's."
Me: "Right."
Samil: "I'm heading there tonight."
Me: "Oh, okay. Well, have a good Thanksgiving."
Samil: "Okay. Yeah, you too."
I open up the door to leave and take one step out...
Samil: "Oh! By the way."
I stop and look wondering what on earth could have just crossed his mind.
Samil: "Oh, um. I. Oh, yeah. I just got this hemp protein and I had it today in my smoothie. As soon as it hit my stomach I could feel it working on my digestion."
Me: "That's...good"
Samil: "Yeah." (Self congratulatory look) "I'm really happy with this stuff. It's AWESOME."
Me: "Um. Bye, Samil."
Samil: "Bye!"
This evening, I was on gmail at my laptop at Starbucks. I sign on and a few minutes later, Samil starts up a gchat. "Yo dude." So I respond. No joke... 20 minutes later he gets back to me. "I meant to talk to someone else." Oh, okay.
Last weekend he went to an English Teacher's Conference and told me that he thought most of the early seminars he went to were really dull, useless, and a waste of time, and he wished he noticed that people were walking out of them freely. Because I dunno, a guy who has been teaching for a year and freely admits he has no idea what he's doing should be bored by the ideas presented at the nation's top conference on teaching English. Those people clearly didn't know what they were talking about. That said, he found it really important to tell me, as he was walking out of my room, that he met this really cool guy who wanted to change the name of English class to something else. "oh?" He wants to call it Personal Studies. Now THAT'S valuable for his professional development.
There's something really unique about Samil that makes me just have no response so often. I don't know how he's developed this ability to just throw out topics that are totally absolutely uninteresting to me, not even a little bit. It has to be a combination not just what he talks about, but how he presents it. You have to wonder how some people function in this world when they spend so much time having awkward relations with the people around them. I hope that my students become much better socially adjusted, which I'm not really concerned about at all, since nearly all of them can make it through a conversation with me without me raising either of my eye brows or forcing me to pick my jaw off the floor. And this is in middle school, which well, as you should all know, is an awkwardness cesspool.
When he had his report card night last week, he told me about one mother who found out her daughter was doing very poorly in Samil's class. The mother had, what I think was a look of anger on his face, but when Samil demonstrated it, it just looked sorta blank. Samil ended the telling of this story by saying "I don't know if I should have been happy that her daughter was in trouble or" he paused, I looked at him for a second, and then he started talking about tomato sauce.
This morning I didn't see Samil until right before I was out the door. The following exchange took place:
Me: "Hey, are you going to be home tonight?"
Samil: "Um, yeah, I'm going to my aunt's for Thanksgiving."
Me: "All right, I'll see you late when I get in... 10ish"
Samil: "No."
Me: "Huh?"
Samil: "I'll be at my aunt's."
Me: "Right."
Samil: "I'm heading there tonight."
Me: "Oh, okay. Well, have a good Thanksgiving."
Samil: "Okay. Yeah, you too."
I open up the door to leave and take one step out...
Samil: "Oh! By the way."
I stop and look wondering what on earth could have just crossed his mind.
Samil: "Oh, um. I. Oh, yeah. I just got this hemp protein and I had it today in my smoothie. As soon as it hit my stomach I could feel it working on my digestion."
Me: "That's...good"
Samil: "Yeah." (Self congratulatory look) "I'm really happy with this stuff. It's AWESOME."
Me: "Um. Bye, Samil."
Samil: "Bye!"
This evening, I was on gmail at my laptop at Starbucks. I sign on and a few minutes later, Samil starts up a gchat. "Yo dude." So I respond. No joke... 20 minutes later he gets back to me. "I meant to talk to someone else." Oh, okay.
Last weekend he went to an English Teacher's Conference and told me that he thought most of the early seminars he went to were really dull, useless, and a waste of time, and he wished he noticed that people were walking out of them freely. Because I dunno, a guy who has been teaching for a year and freely admits he has no idea what he's doing should be bored by the ideas presented at the nation's top conference on teaching English. Those people clearly didn't know what they were talking about. That said, he found it really important to tell me, as he was walking out of my room, that he met this really cool guy who wanted to change the name of English class to something else. "oh?" He wants to call it Personal Studies. Now THAT'S valuable for his professional development.
There's something really unique about Samil that makes me just have no response so often. I don't know how he's developed this ability to just throw out topics that are totally absolutely uninteresting to me, not even a little bit. It has to be a combination not just what he talks about, but how he presents it. You have to wonder how some people function in this world when they spend so much time having awkward relations with the people around them. I hope that my students become much better socially adjusted, which I'm not really concerned about at all, since nearly all of them can make it through a conversation with me without me raising either of my eye brows or forcing me to pick my jaw off the floor. And this is in middle school, which well, as you should all know, is an awkwardness cesspool.
When he had his report card night last week, he told me about one mother who found out her daughter was doing very poorly in Samil's class. The mother had, what I think was a look of anger on his face, but when Samil demonstrated it, it just looked sorta blank. Samil ended the telling of this story by saying "I don't know if I should have been happy that her daughter was in trouble or" he paused, I looked at him for a second, and then he started talking about tomato sauce.
Friday, November 6, 2009
Smart Phones Reviewed
I mentioned in an earlier post that Smart Phones are not named that because they make you smarter, but because it requires some intelligence to operate them.
This has been painfully clear to me on a regular basis in the last week or so, mostly because Samil has one of these phones.
To review: Samil this summer decided he REALLY wanted Pandora Radio on his phone. He wanted this at the expense of being able to accept text messages and add entries into his contact book. I sold him an extra memory card I had, which I hoped would resolve this situation, but he didn't put it into his phone for a number of weeks. This made his phone situation difficult while we were attempting to find an apartment, but also came into play when we were trying to get our Internet set up. Ultimately, Samil was hesitant to spend the 2 minutes it would take to do that because he's technically borrowing this Blackberry Pearl and will be moving to the Palm Pre, something he is very excited about.
Last week I got two calls during one class while I was teaching. After the class I saw it was Samil and got concerned. Something has to be up if he's going to call me twice in short succession while at work, right? So I call and leave a message saying when I'd be free to talk.
After lunch he calls again and I miss it since it was during class, so now I'm really wondering what is up because he called when I told him I wasn't free. This time, though he leaves a message. I play the message on speaker phone with my colleague. It was a very nervous plea of background classroom noises and lots of noises sounding similar to say... a phone rubbing up against a pant leg.
After school is over, I get a call from Samil "hey, what's up? You called earlier." I explain to him that he'd been calling me throughout the day and he found the whole situation to be amusing. One thing most Smart Phones have in common is the keyboard that requires a key lock on so that you don't pocket dial anyone. I told him about that, to which he said "Oh, yeah I forget about that sometimes."
This weekend I found out my Grandmother died. As I was packing up to leave, I realized that Samil still had not finished setting up the kitchen. No, that's not true. I knew he hadn't done it. I realized it was November all of a sudden and Samil had still not finished setting up the kitchen, and wasn't going to be home all weekend. So I called him to tell him he needed to do it. He responded with "well, it was a bigger task than what you did, and I've been really busy, and I've been wiping up in there, and that takes time." 1) It wasn't a bigger task (see previously linked post), and I also did everything in a week, he had a month. 2) I've been working 80 hours a week. How busy are you again? 3) Wiping up the kitchen after you cook is not special... its what you do after you cook. I do the same thing when I cook.
The next night I was at my Grandmother's wake. I get a phone call from Samil that I don't get a chance to pick up. Then I get another call. I excuse myself and call him back, but he didn't pick up. Then he calls again when I can't answer, so I quickly text him, "If you need anything, text me, I cna't pick up the phone while at the wake." Two minutes later, another call, which I was able to pick up because I wasn't talking to anyone at that moment, only to discover I was being pocket dialed again. The worst part... he never got the text message I sent because his phone's memory was full.
This has been painfully clear to me on a regular basis in the last week or so, mostly because Samil has one of these phones.
To review: Samil this summer decided he REALLY wanted Pandora Radio on his phone. He wanted this at the expense of being able to accept text messages and add entries into his contact book. I sold him an extra memory card I had, which I hoped would resolve this situation, but he didn't put it into his phone for a number of weeks. This made his phone situation difficult while we were attempting to find an apartment, but also came into play when we were trying to get our Internet set up. Ultimately, Samil was hesitant to spend the 2 minutes it would take to do that because he's technically borrowing this Blackberry Pearl and will be moving to the Palm Pre, something he is very excited about.
Last week I got two calls during one class while I was teaching. After the class I saw it was Samil and got concerned. Something has to be up if he's going to call me twice in short succession while at work, right? So I call and leave a message saying when I'd be free to talk.
After lunch he calls again and I miss it since it was during class, so now I'm really wondering what is up because he called when I told him I wasn't free. This time, though he leaves a message. I play the message on speaker phone with my colleague. It was a very nervous plea of background classroom noises and lots of noises sounding similar to say... a phone rubbing up against a pant leg.
After school is over, I get a call from Samil "hey, what's up? You called earlier." I explain to him that he'd been calling me throughout the day and he found the whole situation to be amusing. One thing most Smart Phones have in common is the keyboard that requires a key lock on so that you don't pocket dial anyone. I told him about that, to which he said "Oh, yeah I forget about that sometimes."
This weekend I found out my Grandmother died. As I was packing up to leave, I realized that Samil still had not finished setting up the kitchen. No, that's not true. I knew he hadn't done it. I realized it was November all of a sudden and Samil had still not finished setting up the kitchen, and wasn't going to be home all weekend. So I called him to tell him he needed to do it. He responded with "well, it was a bigger task than what you did, and I've been really busy, and I've been wiping up in there, and that takes time." 1) It wasn't a bigger task (see previously linked post), and I also did everything in a week, he had a month. 2) I've been working 80 hours a week. How busy are you again? 3) Wiping up the kitchen after you cook is not special... its what you do after you cook. I do the same thing when I cook.
The next night I was at my Grandmother's wake. I get a phone call from Samil that I don't get a chance to pick up. Then I get another call. I excuse myself and call him back, but he didn't pick up. Then he calls again when I can't answer, so I quickly text him, "If you need anything, text me, I cna't pick up the phone while at the wake." Two minutes later, another call, which I was able to pick up because I wasn't talking to anyone at that moment, only to discover I was being pocket dialed again. The worst part... he never got the text message I sent because his phone's memory was full.
Wednesday, November 4, 2009
Cooking with Samil!
I'm going to share with you what is carefully guarded family recipe: Samil's Brownie Recipe. Here are the ingredients:
The cooks among you might be wondering what the hell is wrong, but, the answer is really elementary- Samil takes one serving size of all the ingredients necessary for brownies and puts them in a bowl. I mean... duh, right? (fyi, this is not his brownie recipe. I only chose brownies because that was the most immediate ludicrous cooking example I could think of to make my point...)
Last week Samil asked me how to use my blender for a smoothie. He was very concerned about screwing things up, and was very worried that his smoothie would not turn out right if he used the Mix setting instead of the potentially more appropriate Stir setting. I calmed him down by saying "just throw everything in and hit a button. they all work just fine for smoothies."
Only its not so simple! I come out to the kitchen about ten minutes later and discover massive amounts of pain and misery. The smoothie did not go well. It went so bad, he had to put WATER in it after mixing everything up. You see, to make the perfect smoothie, he decided to put one serving size of everything into it for maximum enjoyability. The flaw in this is that when you have essentially 3x the solid stuff to liquid stuff, your smoothie won't be so, er, smooth.
I think as time goes on, Samil will master the art of good smoothies. Until then, I'm hoping he avoids attempting to master the complicated art of that quesadilla making.
- 1 ounce square of unsweetened chocolate
- 1 tablespoon butter
- 1 egg
- 1 tsp sugar
- 1 tablespoon vanilla
- 1/4 cup Flour
- 1/4 teaspoon Salt
- 1 cup chopped
The cooks among you might be wondering what the hell is wrong, but, the answer is really elementary- Samil takes one serving size of all the ingredients necessary for brownies and puts them in a bowl. I mean... duh, right? (fyi, this is not his brownie recipe. I only chose brownies because that was the most immediate ludicrous cooking example I could think of to make my point...)
Last week Samil asked me how to use my blender for a smoothie. He was very concerned about screwing things up, and was very worried that his smoothie would not turn out right if he used the Mix setting instead of the potentially more appropriate Stir setting. I calmed him down by saying "just throw everything in and hit a button. they all work just fine for smoothies."
Only its not so simple! I come out to the kitchen about ten minutes later and discover massive amounts of pain and misery. The smoothie did not go well. It went so bad, he had to put WATER in it after mixing everything up. You see, to make the perfect smoothie, he decided to put one serving size of everything into it for maximum enjoyability. The flaw in this is that when you have essentially 3x the solid stuff to liquid stuff, your smoothie won't be so, er, smooth.
I think as time goes on, Samil will master the art of good smoothies. Until then, I'm hoping he avoids attempting to master the complicated art of that quesadilla making.
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